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A Cold Plague is Upon Us!

Passover is less than a month away and I’m wondering if the cold will ever go away.

This year’s spring has been a nightmare for many of us. Pipes, not June, are bustin’ out all over. It’s a cold plague.

As kosher caterers, we’re very much affected by the weather. We use mobile kitchens, to prepare our food right at your door, without inconveniencing you, and ensuring that meals are prepped in a kosher, COR-inspected and approved facility. Icy roads aren’t good for business. I wake up from nightmares about gefilte fish cascading down Eglinton Ave.

Please, Let Any More Cold Weather Pass Over Us!

Will the weather cooperate during Passover? Will people snowshoe over for the Seder? Can they snowshoe home after four cups of wine?

I’m thinking soup will be a huge request this year. For the record, we will be offering five kinds of Passover soups this year, suitable for Seders or other nights:

  • Traditional chicken soup
  • Butternut squash
  • Potato leek
  • Matzo ball
  • Egg noodle

An acquaintance in Phoenix tried to cheer me up. “Buy more perishables in bulk,” she suggested, “and store them outside in the snow. Nothing will go bad.” I’m pretty sure she was sipping a margarita when she offered this sage advice.

Meanwhile, the extreme weather has been blamed for a massive power failure that left, oh, about a quarter-million Torontonians in the dark and the cold.

Darkness was an actual plague.

Buy Your Firstborn a Jumper, Just in Case

I know our fellow countrymen often tease us in Toronto for complaining about the cold. “You don’t know cold,” they taunt. But last month officially tied 1875 as coldest ever in Toronto, at least since people with thermometers have been hanging out here. “We earned our badge of courage,” David Phillips, Environment Canada’s senior climatologist told The Star. “Nobody alive today has ever experienced a colder month in Toronto than we did this month.”

March will be colder than usual, in part because cold just doesn’t go away quickly. All those frozen lakes and rivers (we’ve all seen the footage from Niagara Falls) refrigerate the land, so to speak.

Could it be that we’re experiencing modern-day plague? Will we be delivered by 15 Nisan? I think I’ll check out the jumpers at Hudson’s Bay for my firstborn, just in case.

The weather people are also talking about the potential for flooding when spring finally does come, which may be as late as May, according to The Weather Network. Chris Scott and Chris St. Clair also think that as the West Coast warms up, we’ll get warm air colliding with cold Great Lakes air; as I write, the lakes are 80% frozen and may actually break the record for 95%. What happens when warm air meets really cold air?

You got it! Late winter storms and hail. Another plague!

Come spring, Chris and Chris warn, we may see quite a bit of flooding. Wonderful. Because what do we get with excess water and floods? Two more plagues: gnats and flies.

Frankly, frogs don’t sound so bad right now.

Can’t wait for our soup? Try this easy tomato soup crockpot recipe from Chowhound.



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